Misery is my mistress and she has a hold on my heart.

I have been giddy about the iphone since I got a first generation ipod and decided in my head that it would one day make a nifty phone. When the actual device was announced a year and a half ago - my giddiness grew exponentially. I even made a cartoon about it . . .

Being the wizard of finance that I am - I decided to hoard apple gift cards until my cell phone contract had expired. This was a move that pushed me directly into the “wait for the second generation” window.

When the 3g model was announced - which came out on my birthday no less - I knew that it had to be mine. I had waited all that time - I had the gift cards - and the whole birthday thing . . . it was a match made in retail heaven.

I couldn’t even really sleep the night before and am not in the least bit ashamed to tell you that anytime that I did fall asleep - I was greeted with dreams starring iphones in various guises. In one dream - the iphones were dancing about. They seemed very well practiced. I can’t remember a more sleepless night for the sake of buying something - or christmas morning - or whatever in my life - and am happy that I still have the capacity for such reckless dorkiness.

When I got to the mall at 6:45 am - I was amazed at how many people were there - but didn’t mind as I had a book, a blueberry scone and a chai tea latte. The day took it hard to the nose at 7:15 am when a little bird called alarmed that she had been locked in her cage. I had to leave the line - drive home - unlock the cage - walk around the world with Socks - and then get back to the line as quick as a flash of light in a tin can - which by-the-by is pretty quick.

I got back to the mall at 8:30 am and almost did an immediate about face when I saw that there were a couple of hundred more people in the line. Then - I saw the woman that was sitting behind me - and I decided that I was going to do something that I have tried to get better at not doing . . . I would have a conversation. Here is how it went.
“Excuse me miss.”
“Yes”
“Do you - by any chance remember me? I was sitting in front of you earlier.”
“No. I’m sorry I don’t.”
“We were sitting over there. You got here at about 6:55 am or so.”
“No. I don’t think that I have ever seen you . . .”
“Alright.” (and this is where I got weird) “Your daughter (who was gone at this point) was wearing green shorts, had curly hair and you had a conversation with her about how she should text you because your cell phone battery was running out . . .”
Stunned (and probably horrified) - she looked at me and said that I needed to ask the kid behind her if it was okay. The kid could care less - and I was back in my place in line with only the tiniest bit of awkwardness extended.

I got the phones one for me and one for the little bird (we are a family) and everything went pretty well. Here is where the heartbreak comes into play. I get no reception. I drop calls all over the place. If I turn the 3g part of the phone on - I get no bars. If I turn the 3g off - I get up to 3 bars that mock me - because I know that if I trust them and try to take a call - then they will just pull the rug out from under me and waggle the “No Service” sign under my nose.

I love the phone. I love how it syncs up to my computer with my calendars and photos and music. The app store is a jolly good time - and now that I have figured out the ins and outs of the battery life - that isn’t even a terrible issue. But what is the point of having a phone if it isn’t even a phone?!

I have joined forums talking about the problem - and tried the little tricks that people swear by (”toggle off airplane mode!”) and have even swapped out my sim card, restored the phone and had at&t run a diagnostic test on the little bugger. All to no avail. My next step is to go to the apple store tomorrow - switch this one out - in hopes that something will change - and go from their.

Oh pancakes (my iphones name) you are indeed a cruel lover . . .

Holy bananas you guys.

Here - in the future - where I currently am - I am able to now write posts from my telephone.

I don’t even wanna tell you where I am posting this from right now . . . Okay - fine - I am sitting at my desk - right in front of my computer - but that isn’t the point. The point is magic!!

Now if only I could get this thing to “magically” stop dropping all of my calls - then we would really be getting somewhere . . .

[If you happen to use Wordpress - then just go to the app store and you too can share in the magic.]

Here is a picture of a cat that Socks organized while we were on our walk today.

I think that it is supposed to represent something about how nature is creeping up on us - even while we sleep - so we should wipe it out before it gets to us.

Of maybe it is just a cute cat. I’m not too good with symbology.

Why don’t you want to work anymore?

Mister Super-Phone.

So - I got a nifty phone - and I love it a whole bunch - even though it has miserable reception - and with the latest sofware update it actually stopped being able to get email. It is all a big stew that I love to eat that makes me a total glutton for punishment.

Well - now my left ear has given out - and that is really just too much. Last night while walking the pup around I noticed that the ear piece kept falling out of my left ear. I was confused as to how something that had always fit so snuggley and perfectly could just stop.

My right ear started glowing at how well it was doing at holding onto the ear bud.

I started twisting and turning and jamming the thing into my ear - because I was really frustrated with this new predicament. But then - I finally had to just give up and let it hang there - all sad - and threatening to ruin the whole party by trying to pull the right ear piece out . . .

Well today - I was q-tippin’ my ear and - ye-ouch!!! It hurt. So I did a little “let’s see what’s going on here” and found that there was a big old bump in my ear. Now - did I cause this bump - or was it there last night - and was the cause of all of my woes?

Maybe I’ll never know . . . but what I do know is that I now have a phone that barely calls, won’t check email and only 1/2 of the amount of sound thata it originally had . . . what in the world could be next?