Enough with the bathing . . .
Sunday, May 21st, 2006
The other night (really pretty much every night - but this one night in particular) I was sooooooooooo so so so so tired . . . and so after letting the dog out and then back in and dealing with the feeding of the cats - I crawled - or maybe slunk - but definitely didn’t scamper into bed.
Clink to sleep I went. [The "clink" coming from a penny falling out of my change cup - which I usually clutch close to my heart before I go to bed each night . . . and yes - of course I have a "change cup" - who are you to judge anyway?! And besides . . . what do you keep your pennies in anyway??]
So - the dog was to the right of me - which is fine because he sleeps the good sleep of a feather in the snow. And just at that moment - that integral moment where you are on the precipice of a wonderful night of sleep - where your breathing has leveled out and the busy thoughts of the day have slipped to the back of the back(er)most parts of your brain . . . My cat - Spot Elliot lunges into bed (for the uninitiated - he is a 22 pound cat - a big big large cat that makes the entire bed move when he hops in) - but you get used to that - the whole seismic activity minor earthquake thing . . . then he sits there (kind of like a bear - sitting there on his butt) and makes sure that I am indeed about to fall asleep - and then it starts . . . the thing that I will never be able to get used to . . .
Lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - taking a bath - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - making the grossest of noises - lick - lick - lick - lick - am I driving you crazy yet? - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - the whole stupid bed is moving because I am so fat - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick - lick. And then I snapped - and the cat was unceremoniously booted from the bed.
Oh - but of course it doesn’t quite end there - because two more times he jumped back into bed to resume the bath . . . only to find himself on the floor after a quick firm push from my foot. And jeez-o-peet - don’t let me leave out the cute fact that every time that the cat was kicked out of bed - the dog would freak out and jump over me to see where Elliot was running off to . . . utter bedlam . . . utter lack of sleep bedlam . . .



